Want to be a better communicator? Make your communication more effective, inclusive, and engaging
Communication is the most important tool we have and yet humans are...not great at it. Meaning is easily misunderstood, interest wanes, and don’t even get me started on listening (we’re so bad at listening). If you’ve ever found yourself snapping, “Oh yeah? Well, what did I just say?” at a partner or rolling your eyes after a meeting and muttering that could have been an email, you’ve been on the receiving end (and, spoiler: the giving end) of bad communication.
We all do it. I just rewatched Stranger Things and found myself exclaiming over and over again: all of this could have been avoided if they had just talked to each other! And sure, if cell phones had been available, they might have been able to deal with the Demogorgon a lot faster. But I’m looking (glaring) at my cell phone right now, and I can’t say with absolute certainty that it makes my life entirely easy.
Gallup data shows that only 13% of employees strongly agree that the leadership of their organization communicates effectively with the rest of the organization and when Pew Research Center asked a national sample of adults which skills are most important for children to get ahead in the world today, 90% said communication. At Commcoterie, a community for communicators, we believe communication should be as effective, inclusive, and engaging as possible. So what does that mean?
To make any impact at all, your communication must be effective
You can craft the most beautiful communication in the world, but if you send it to everone@mybusiness.com instead of everyone@mybusiness.com, your communication isn’t going to be a success. Distribution lists, hyperlinks, and subject lines might be very unsexy stuff (to you...I think they are extremely sexy), but without getting those technical details right, your message doesn’t matter.
When is the best time for your communication to be delivered? Are you sending a Slack message at 11:30pm? Are you trying to explain to a family member why you’re mad when they’re still angry? What channels or methods are you going to use for your message? Just because you love email (and I do love email), doesn’t mean anyone else at your company reads their emails on a regular basis. If you’re setting up an FAQ doc, is it some dumb PDF that you’re going to have to download every time you want to read it, or can it be a read-only Google doc or a webpage that people have an easy link to?
Think about the structure of your communication. Where is your thesis delivered? Have you made your why clear enough? Are you using the appropriate medium for your message and audience, or just the one you prefer?
How many times have you gotten to the end of something and thought, what did I just read/watch/listen to? In our rush to communicate, we often share our message without considering how the recipient will interpret the message. It doesn’t actually matter what you want to say, it matters what your audience wants to hear, and if you get the details right, your message won’t get lost.
The fastest way to alienate your audience is to ignore inclusivity
Think about your language and whether it is inclusive. In an effort to create camaraderie, we often throw out assumptions, generalizations, or shorthand. Saying things like “let’s meet when we get back from Christmas break” or “I’m sure you’re all heading to your vacation homes for the long weekend” or using gendered terms or assuming the genders of people’s significant others are all examples of noninclusive language.
To some people, these things sound nitpicky, but those people are thinking about themselves and not who they’re talking to. Even something like saying “hey guys” can have a negative impact. If someone walks into a room and says “hey guys,” I don’t look up. It’s not clear that I’m included in this conversation.
You have a decision to make: you can whine that everybody else needs to have a thicker skin and get over it, or you can embrace inclusivity, adopt a learning mindset, and make inclusive and positive communication your norm. Think: Am I helping or harming? Am I considering my audience? Am I remembering my own privilege and bias? Am I lifting others up?
Using inclusive language is a learning process, but using non-inclusive language is the fastest way to alienate the people you are trying so hard to connect with. It’s not possible to say the exact right thing all the time, and you will slip up as humans have done since the beginning of time and will continue to do forever. The important thing is to stay humble and curious. Every mistake is a learning opportunity and a chance to become a better communicator. Who doesn’t want that?
Engage your audience and make your message stick
There’s a reason successful TED speakers kick their talks off with an anecdote. Stories are memorable and engaging. They connect emotions to facts. You might be thinking, okay, chill out, it’s not a story, it’s just an email, but everything is a story. A basic story consists of character, setting, plot, conflict, and resolution. Taking just a minute to frame your message as a story can help ensure you don’t miss any important points that can make it more engaging for your audience.
Ask yourself what creativity you can bring to your communication. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time, but think about it from a user perspective. What is the experience you’re trying to create for your user? What emotions do you want to activate? What will make this message most interesting and useful to them? What could make this stand out and be more memorable?
We might not be saving the world from the perils of the Upside Down, but when our communication is effective, inclusive, and engaging, we can connect with our audience, build our communities, and help ourselves and others live fuller lives.
Join Commcoterie
Our members build communication and whole-self development skills, get matched up for peer coaching, learn how to self-coach, and strengthen their networks by connecting with other folks who are committed to effective, inclusive, and engaging communication.